


Shuichi needs a break, Ouma needs to chill, and the author needs to get their shit together

by Okamira



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Author is probably evil, Bisexual Saihara Shuichi, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Gay Oma Kokichi, Gay Panic, Heathens, Homophobia, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Multi, My First Fanfic, One-Sided Attraction, Ouma not Oma, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Straight Momota Kaito, Talents still exist, Texting, There will be Plot, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Saihara Shuichi, chat fic, dw it happens later, first chapter kinda sucks whoops, for no other reason than im bored, gay pinning, gay shit, i have no idea what im doing ngl, i just suck at filler chapters, in my chat fic?, its more likely than you think..., its probs gonna be bad, lets be honest you expected that one, not for oumasai tho, plot?, they be cuties uwu, weird shit is going to happen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2020-05-20 11:09:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19375510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Okamira/pseuds/Okamira
Summary: What can i say? Its another chat fic featuring the Drv3 cast.Includes:Ouma being gay,Amami saying y'allHarukawa wanting to murder Kokichiand more!(first chapter was made last year, and only has been recently been edited but because I'm lazy, I'm not redoing the entire thing. So if they are out of character, my apologies.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> super duper high school level stabby mc murderer 2: Do you want to die?
> 
>  
> 
> Cockichi UwUma: yes
> 
>  
> 
> Succi: yes
> 
> \--------------------

 

**_[10:34 PM]_ **

**_[Rantaro Amami has added: Shuichi Saihara, Kaede Akamatsu and 13 others into “group chat”]_ **

 

**_[Rantaro Amami has changed the chat name to “Whomst the fuck did it”]_ **

 

**_[Kaede Akamatsu, Kaito Momota and 6 others are online]_ **

 

**Kaede Akamatsu:** Amami what? Did something happen?

 

**Rantaro Amami:** one of yall’ took something of mine and yain't leaving until I find out who done it. 

 

**Kokichi Ouma:** lmao

 

**_[Kokichi Ouma has changed 16 names]_ **

 

**_[Cockichi uwuma has taken fourteen members_ ** **_@admin_ ** **_role]_ **

 

**Cockichi Uwuma:** there we go! much better nishishi~

 

**Succi:** did you just type out your laugh-

 

**super duper high school level stabby mc murderer 2:** ….

 

**_[‘Super duper high school level stabby mc murderer 2’s username has been changed to ‘Maki’]_ **

 

**_[‘Maki’s username has been changed to ‘Super duper high school level stabby mc murderer 2’]_ **

 

**Cockichi UwUma: :)**

 

**super duper high school level stabby mc murderer 2:** Do you want to die?

 

**Cockichi UwUma:** yes

 

**Succi:** yes

 

**Cockichi UwUma:** ...

 

**Cockichi UwUma:** hoe, u good?

 

**Succi:** no

 

**Succi:** anyways Amami, you said you were missing something?

 

**Guacamole:** first of all: this is a overused joke, second of all: yes my G O D D A M N N A I L P O L I S H

 

**Guacamole:** hhh it was a gift from my sisters, i need it back.

 

**Uranus:** I bet it was Ouma, he’s always the motherfucker that takes stuff!

 

**Cockichi Uwuma:** aww, that's not fair... Akamatsu is the motherfucker!

 

**Shaving my piano:** What

 

**Cockichi UwUma:** and i didnt do anything this time!

 

**super duper high school level stabby mc murderer 2:** As if we would believe you.

 

**Guacamole:** Night time is the only time the nail polish would go unguarded and Kokichi is almost never asleep

 

**Uranus:** Ha! I told you it would be him!

 

**Cockichi UwUma:** Rude! Ill let you know i was in Shu’s room staring at his pretty face! <3

 

**Succi:** what

 

**Mom:** Ouma was in the kitchen crying while drinking panta out of a vodka bottle.

 

**Cockichi UwUma:** mom why do you out me like this

 

**Succi:** All night?

 

**Cockichi UwUma:**

 

**Succi:** :f

 

**Cockichi UwUma:** :T

 

**Succi:** >:f

 

**Cockichi UwUma:** >:T

**Succi:**  >:C

 

**Cockichi UwUma:** Fine! Jeeze, ill try to sleep better...

 

**super duper high school level stabby mc murderer 2:** Gay

 

**Shaving my piano:** wait why do we even have vodka bottles

 

**Mom** :

 

**Succi:** mom no

 

**Mom:** how else do you think i'm able to deal with all of your shit?

 

**Mom:** You’re all fucking adopted.

 

**Cockichi Uwuma:** im sorry mother

 

**Korekneehoe:** kehehe...Humanity is beautiful! 

 

**Guacamole:** Anyways, so it seems Ouma isnt a suspect…

 

**Shaving my piano:** where was the nail polish even placed?

 

**Guacamole:** in my Ultimate Lab ofc

 

**Succi:** well, have you checked with everyone?

 

**Succi:** ...like say

 

**Succi:** a certain cosplayer?

 

**Succi:** who is wearing rose gold nail polish?

 

**_[Guacamole is now offline]_ **

 

**Cockichi Uwuma:** ooooo, she fuckin dead

  
  


**Mom:** everyone needs to go to bed, we have class tomorrow

 

**Cockichi Uwuma:** No! You can't tell the supreme Leader what to do!

 

**Succi:** Ouma…

 

**_[Cockichi Uwuma is now offline]_ **

 

**super duper high school level stabby mc murderer 2:** whipped 

 

**Mom:** Everyone. Sleep. Now

 

**Succi:** I'll try, mom

 

**Shaving my piano:** yes mom!

 

**Uranus:** Aright! Night sidekick, Maki roll!

 

**super duper high school level stabby mc murderer 2:** Die.

 

**_[Succi, super duper high school level stabby mc murderer 2, and two others are offline]_ **

 

\------------------------------

 

**_[3:45 AM]_ **

**_[Cokichi UwUma is online]_ **

 

**Cockichi UwUma:** yall ever just lay at night and think about how eating is just vore?

 

**Cockichi UwUma:** cuz I do.

 

**_[Succi is online]_ **

 

**Succi:** what the fuck.

 

**Cockichi UwUma:** think about it!

 

**Succi:** no, I will  _ not _ think about it.

 

**Succi** : go back to sleep

 

**Cockichi UwUma:** noo… sleep is boring!

 

**Cockichi UwUma:** also, what are you doing up? I thought you were sleeping?

 

**Succi:** …

 

**[Succi is offline]**

 

**Cockichi UwUma:** wh

 

 

**_[Cockichi UwUma is offline]_ **

 

\------------------------

 

**_[6:09 AM]_ **

 

**_[Printer, Cockichi UwUma, and_ ** **_3_ ** **_others are online]_ **

 

**Printer:** Good morning everyone!

 

**Printer:**

 

**Printer:** THIS IS ROBOPHOBIC


	2. internal screaming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Guacamole is online]
> 
> [Guacamole changed Guacamole's name to 'You mess with the guac, you get the glock']
> 
> \------------------------------------------

 

**_[6:34 AM]_ **

**_[Guacamole is online]_ **

 

**_[Guacamole changed Guacamole's name to 'You mess with the guac, you get the glock']_ **

 

**_[Weeb is online]_ **

 

**_Weeb:_ ** why…?

 

**_You mess with the guac, you get the glock:_ ** Its

 

**_You mess with the guac, you get the glock:_ ** sept 16, Guacamole day

 

**_Weeb:_ ** but its Octo-

 

**_You mess with the guac, you get the glock:_ ** shut the fuck up it's for plot

 

**_Weeb:_ **

 

**_Weeb:_ ** :,)

 

 

\------------------------------------------------------

**_Daddy Long Legs:_ ** hello!! :D

 

**_Daddy Long Legs:_ ** Gonta does not get what guacamole day is

 

**_Cockichi UwUma:_ ** ugh, this name is getting annoying to type out 

 

**_[Cockichi UwUma has changed their name to Rat Prince]_ **

 

**_Succi:_ ** ?

 

**_Succi:_ ** oh, well im guessing that its just a day where you eat guacamole? 

 

**_Daddy Long Legs:_ ** Oh! Gonta sees now!

 

**_Daddy Long Legs:_ ** Gonta thanks you Saihara!

 

**_Rat Prince:_ ** huh, no wonder Aniki-Chan wont let me in the kitchen! 

 

**_Rat Prince:_ ** How ruu uuud e

 

**_Rat Prince:｡･ﾟﾟ*( >д<)*ﾟﾟ･｡_ **

 

**_Rat Prince:_ ** I wanted to h elllpppp  ｡ﾟ･ (>﹏<) ･ﾟ **_｡_ **

 

**_Printer:_ ** Please Stop. ****

 

**_Succi:_ ** ugh… I can hear his crying in my mind 

**_[super duper high school level stabby mc murderer 2 is online]_ **

 

**_super duper high school level stabby mc murderer 2:_ ** Ouma shut the fuck up

 

**_super duper high school level stabby mc murderer 2:_ ** I can hear you from Akamatsu’s lab

 

**_super duper high school level stabby mc murderer 2:_ ** I swear to god ill come over there and strangle you again

 

**_Succi:_ ** oh, he was actually crying

 

**_Atua’s Nun: *_ ** Atua

 

**_Atua’s Nun: :)_ **

 

**_Succi:_ ** Since when were you online?

 

**_Succi:_ ** how did you time that perfectly??

 

**_Succi:_ ** please stop??? Im trying to eat in peace???

 

**_super duper high school level stabby mc murderer 2:_ **

 

**_super duper high school level stabby mc murderer 2:_ ** Yeah ok not today Satan 

 

**_[super duper high school level stabby mc murderer 2 is offline]_ **

 

**_Atua’s Nun:_ ** Nyahaha!!! Atua knows all! 

 

**_Atua’s Nun:_ ** **You cant run from Atua, Maki!**

 

**_[Atua’s Nun is offline]_ **

 

**_Rat Prince:_ **

 

**_Rat Prince:_ ** well that was…

 

**_Succi:_ ** _ terrifying _

 

**_Rat Prince:_ ** yeah, that

 

**_Rat Prince:_ ** well anyways! 

 

**_Rat Prince:_ ** I have a message from the author!

 

**_Printer:_ ** H.

 

**_Printer:_ ** Huh.?

 

**_Succi:_ ** I suddenly feel unsafe 

 

**_Rat Prince:_ ** jeeze, still typing like a broken robot, ay Kiiboy?

 

**_Printer:_ ** THAT’S ROBOPHOBIC. 

 

**_Rat Prince:_ ** ;p

 

**_Rat Prince:_ ** anywho! 

 

**_Rat Prince:_ ** because of the fact that Oka is a pussy they want me to say that they’re sorry for forgetting about us! 

 

**_Rat Prince:_ ** they were too busy being gay apparently ;(

 

**_Rat Prince:_ ** oop gotta go! Lunch is almost over! 

 

**_[Rat Prince is offline]_ **

 

**_Succi:_ ** I'm terrified and curious at the same time 

 

**_Succi:_ ** though Ouma-kun is right, there’s only ten minutes left. 

 

**_Succi:_ ** that reminds me…. 

 

**_Succi:_ ** Well, i have to go, see you later Kiibo-kun

 

**_Printer:_ ** GoodBye Saihara!

 

**_[Succi and Printer is offline]_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhhhiii
> 
> im okamira, and i drink dumb bitch juice and didnt update 
> 
> i have plot 
> 
> its just going to take a bit
> 
> aka like
> 
> chapter six
> 
> or something i dunno
> 
> im too lazy to check my notes and i wote all this at 2AM in the morning so hahahaha kill me
> 
> anyways please comment some ships or plot points you'd like to see and ill try to deliver 
> 
> have a good night/day


	3. rrrrrrrrat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \-------------------
> 
>  
> 
> Shaving my piano: im scared for my safety 
> 
>  
> 
> Uranus: why? No offense to my bro but hes a twink 
> 
>  
> 
> Shaving my piano: dude
> 
>  
> 
> Shaving my piano: saihara is smart
> 
>  
> 
> Shaving my piano: ouma is a rat
> 
>  
> 
> Shaving my piano: we're all going to die
> 
>  
> 
> Uranus: oh
> 
>  
> 
> Uranus: oH
> 
> \-------------------
> 
> some good ol oumasai for the soul. ig. i tried.

**_[2:15PM]_ **

 

**Rat Prince:** we're the rats

 

**Shaving my piano:** oh dear god

 

**Succi:** we're the rats 

 

**Uranus:** Sidekick you too???

 

**Rat Prince:** _ we're the rats _

 

**Succi:** **_we're the rats_ **

 

**Rat prince:** **_we're the rats_ **

 

**Rat Prince:** alright I think that's enough lmao

 

**Succi: W̭̼̺̥̟͎͠e̞̤'͉̹̦̘̞̻̘ṛ̟̜̙̞̯ͅe̶̦̮̘̲̱͎ ͍͘t̠̦͎̼̼̯h̨͓̝̟e̺̣̖̰-̰ ͕͔ͅ**

 

**Succi:** oh ok

 

**Shaving my piano:** wh

 

**Shaving my piano:** what was that

 

**Succi:** uh

 

**Uranus:** yeah, what the hell??

 

**Succi:** uhhhhhh

 

**_[Succi is offline]_ **

 

**Rat prince:** nishishi~ 

 

**Rat Prince:** he maaay or may not have lost at a game of chess~ 

 

**Rat Prince:** now he has to be my assistant for the rest of the day! 

 

**_[Rat Prince changed Succi's name to Rat Husband]_ **

 

**Rat Prince:** ;p be prepared~

 

**_[Rat Prince is offline]_ **

 

**Shaving my piano:** sc rEaMs???

 

**Shaving my piano:** whAT?

 

**Uranus:** ...huh?

 

**Shaving my piano:** im scared for my safety 

 

**Uranus:** why? No offense to my bro but hes a twink 

 

**Shaving my piano:** dude

 

**Shaving my piano:** saihara is smart

 

**Shaving my piano:** ouma is a rat

 

**Shaving my piano:** we're all going to die

 

**Uranus:** oh

 

**Uranus:** oH

 

**Uranus:** _ @super duper high school level stabby mc murderer 2 _

 

**Uranus:** help???

 

**_[super duper high school level stabby mc murderer 2 is online]_ **

 

**super duper high school level stabby mc murderer 2:** dont drag me into this 

 

**super duper high school level stabby mc murderer 2:** this was probably your fault anyways

 

**Shaving my piano:** I

 

**Shaving my piano:** harsh, but probably true.

 

**Uranus:** ???

 

**Uranus:** I didnt do anything though!

 

**super duper high school level stabby mc murderer 2:** :/

 

**Shaving my piano:** :/

 

**Shaving my piano:** ...sorry to say it, but you kinda did…

  
  


_ \--------earlier that day-------- _

  
  
  
  


"Sooo~? What'll it be Saihara-chaaa~aan~?"

 

Kokichi smirked at Shuichi, who was regretting coming out of his dorm that day. 

 

He had been cornered by the small gremlin, who looked a lot more excited that normal. Why though? Did something happen? Was it someone's birthday? ...or did he think of a good prank and was going to drag Shuichi into it. He hopped not.

 

It turns out, he was close, kinda. He was challenged to a chess battle. If Shuichi won, Kokichi wouldn't do a prank all the way through Halloween (" _ I swear on my furby!" "Your wha-") _ . If he lost though…

 

He would basically become his servant for a day. 

 

Those… weren't odds he would like to mess with. Especially with the surprisingly cute demon spawn. If he was betting on this… it was most likely that he would win, or they ended up with a tie. Both not sounding the best.

 

"Erm… sorry Ouma-kun, I'll pass."

Shuichi said, reaching up to pull at his hat. God, that stare was intense. Why does purple affect him so much?

 

Kokichi seemed to pout, not that Saihara could see at the moment. 

 

"But Saiharaaa…" 

 

"Hm? Oh! Saihara-kun!"

 

The detective sighed, turning around to see Kaede and Kaito. The pianist was smiling at them both pleasantly, face relaxed, but Kaito's visibly soured, spotting Kokichi.

 

"Eugh. What's  _ he _ doing here?" 

 

The leader huffed, bouncing up and down. Why was that endearing?

 

"Saihara-chan rejected my bet… hes a wimp! A baby! Hey hey! I'm gonna call you wimp-chan from now on, kayyyy?" 

 

Shuichi winced, feeling negative thoughts start to build. But before he could get himself deep into that bit, a hand slapped his back, making it hard to breathe for a split second.

 

"Hey! Saihara is no wimp! Right sidekick?" Kaito grinned, looking down at the detective. 

 

"Well-"

 

"C'mon! You can do it!"

 

"Its-"

 

Suddenly, he was being tugged away, making him look down at the smaller boy who was grinning up at him.

 

"You heard Momoron! Let's go go go!!"

 

He was quickly dragged off to… somewhere, shuichi looking back once to look at Kaede and Kaito, making eye contact.

 

One a determined purple, one a concerned lilac. Both holding some type of beauty.

 

' _ Ouma-kun's are prettier.'  _

 

_ 'Shut up.' _

 

\-------- _ present day-------- _

 

**Uranus:** ah.

 

**Uranus:** I see.

 

**super duper high school level stabby mc murderer 2:** that's a first

 

**Uranus:** D:

**Author's Note:**

> big oof.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> any ships you want? Dont be afraid to comment them! Oumasai is the only ship that is canon here as of right now.
> 
> also, comments give me strength to write more, so please feel free to comment your thoughts.


End file.
